So I find myself really struggling with what to write about today lol.

Do I talk about my hectic week and how I am tired, overworked, and stressing the hell out?
Do I talk about my dating life and lack thereof?
Do I talk about the chaos happening in the world?
Do I share letters in my journal to show my growth? 
I'm lowkey really stuck on this today of Thankin Thursday!!

This stuckness on thinking about what to write makes me feel incapable. I'm starting to second guess my ability to make this blog and YouTube channel a thing. 
Do you know what that is like?
To want something so badly and the second things get tough,
you start slipping?
What are you doing when that happens??

What good would it do if I just closed my computer right now
and say "fuck it, better luck next week."
Then next week comes and you say the same thing.
Then months pass by and you've done nothing. 
I can't do that! (again lol)

Don't do that to yourself!

Wow here we go! Here is a topic,
"Just keep going".

There is always going to be someone counting on your downfall,
doubting your ability, and second guessing who you are:

AND IT SHOULDN'T BE YOU!

You need to be your number one fan,
you need to have faith inside of yourself
and when things get tough,
JUST KEEP GOING!

The world will disappoint you,
that's why its important for you not to disappoint yourself.

This blog post is probably not my best.
It probably won't be the worst either.

and Ima JUST KEEP GOING! lol

Anywhoo,
​Tomorrow Season 5 of The Real Life Of Jo starts tomorrow! 
I am sooo excited for this season cause
ya girl is coming out of her shell!!!

Whatever you choose to do this week, Just keep going! 

I've been living in Ohio for about a year now.
I spent that year adjusting to this new lifestyle of mine.
I have started my career in the medical field as a laboratory assistant (GO MICRO!) in a hospital. 
Can I talk about that for a minute?

I am SOOO in love with this job.
Like, I'm not a morning person by FAR
and this job really excites me to get up in the morning lol Granted, I do see some pretty gross shit. (Literally, shit).
But I am saving lives and having fun while doing it!
​ I may post a YouTube Video about that this season on the #RealLifeOfJo, who knows.

But anyway, I freaking love it. 

In addition to this new and awesome career change,
I met some really great people! Not just great people, but some amazingly motivating people. Because of the interactions and encounters I had with them is the reason why I am pushing so hard now.

I see that it can be done,
and it motivates me to get my shit done too!

For example, I am back in school! Can you believe that???
I haven't been in college since 2015. I already have a degree but it never felt like that was enough for me. When I moved to Ohio and landed this job in the lab, the fire was just ignited!
I am currently in school going for my Bachelor's in Medical Lab Science. I'M FINNA BE A WHOLE SCIENTIST!!
At least a lab one lol
I do one day would love to get into research,
BUT we are not in that chapter yet lol Let's finish this first.

I finally have the audio book for The Hidden Goddess With a Twisted Mind recorded!!! But the way this perfectionism and overthinking habits are set up, I don't feel like its up to par for you yet. Give me a bit more time and I may have some fire for you later. 

But first,
​You have to subscribe to the #RealLifeOfJo YouTube Channel!!!


Lastly, let's talk about this blog situation.
I haven't been posting like I wanted to.
Now that I am getting pretty comfortable in my routine,
it's time to get a schedule going!
Can we meet back here like once a week??

​Lets shoot for Thursdays!

ThinkingThursdays!?

I've had this website since 2017. It has changed from being a record label company, to a entertainment website, to blogs, to selling products, to having 90,000+ followers, to nothing and now we are here. Shit, I'm paying 15 bucks a month and 50 bucks a year to keep this damn thing! I never made a dime directly through this shit and I wonder why is it so hard for me to let this go. So today I'm starting with something new. Today is a new season, today I'm starting with me. 

The name "The Real Life Of Jo" sticks with me and perhaps I haven't been living up to the name lately. I actually hide myself which is furthest from being real. Is it from not being validated or wanted as a child? Was it years of being bullied and never fitting in? Is it because I constantly change myself to fit into society? It's probably a mixture all of those things. But I want change.  This season I want to be different. This season I want to be me.

The negative voices in my head are keep saying "You shouldn't post everything on the internet", "no one cares what you are going through", "no one wants to reads this shit". But in reality, this is all I have. The sounds of my fingers dancing on the keyboard is my favorite sound. Hearing me reread what I wrote are epic echos. Perhaps the thoughts singing in my head are yelling in someone else's and by chance this could help them.  Who knows. But one thing is for sure is I can't keep hiding. I can't keep holding everything in. I thought about doing something like this Blog on my YouTube channel, but the way my emotions are set up, it literally would just be me crying in front of a camera. Perhaps its's best to stay hidden on that note. 

When I wrote "The Hidden Goddess With A Twisted Mind" it was all written on paper and then I had to copy/type it in.  To me this is different because I'm letting my mind wonder. 

Will this blog make complete sense? Absolutely fucking not. 
Am I still going to post shit? Yep!
If not everyday, twice a week for sure. 

Welcome to The Real Life of Jo, what's real with you?